What Are Bad Habits? (Part 2)
* Bad habits with regard to Imaan.
When we remember Allah (swt), we are calm and full of tranquillity. We value time, are patient and compassionate, have a goal and purpose in life, and we make sure that we control the environment around us. We do all of the above with good manners and quality in order to achieve it. This requires a lot of power and this power can be attained from dhikrulallah (remembrance of Allah (swt)) and to constantly remember who we are and the purpose behind our creation.
As mothers, we are responsible for our kids. They are an amaanah (trust). Another thing I would like to advise is not to allow our sons to play with our daughters and vice versa once they leave childhood, otherwise the boys would develop feminine qualities and the girls would become aggressive like the boys. (According to most scholars, this age is when a child is around seven years old.)
If we want to develop ourselves and value the month of Ramadan, we cannot waste our precious time running behind kids; if we truly love our kids, we need to discipline them without screaming at them or embarrassing them. Raising our voices while trying to discipline our kids is a sign of weakness, screaming and getting frustrated is a higher level of weakness, while losing our temper and resorting to beating is the ultimate level of weakness. Without Iman we are raising kids who are full of Shaytaan! If we fail to make an impact upon our families, where else can we be successful?
When I was young a Shaykh told me that the best thing I could gift myself was to record my voice during different situations, listen to it later and to analyze how it sounded.
Allah SWT sent Prophet Muhammad SAW with the best of manners and character. If we are the followers of Muhammad SAW then how is it that a Christian nun or a Buddhist monk has better qualities than us? With our spoilt manners we have become the enemy to Islam and our families. How can we try to discipline others when we lack it ourselves? Isn’t this a calamity? Why is Allah (swt) not with me? Why isn’t Allah (swt) giving us the tawfiq?
It is because at this moment we are not Muslims but behave more like mushriks. The love that we have for our kids and families is not for the sake Allah (swt), it is our emotions, our culture and the way we are raised. It is also lack of justice in our personalities that is a symptom of weak faith and inability to prioritize our responsibilities according to the teachings of Allah and His Prophet SAW.
The reason Muslim children are so ill disciplined is because our Muslim women lack personality; both parents are disunited with different principles and kids learn to manipulate the parents. Most mothers lack Islam, wisdom and have no sense of humanity. When we need to discipline somebody, we need to observe them and study their weaknesses and strengths. This is justice that we mentioned earlier. Without justice, we will try to treat everyone the same and in the process ignore and even crush their personalities.
Part 3 is on the way…